People say that college is about challenging oneself, not only academically, but in every possible way. Participating in Project SHINE as a part of my Women's Studies class was definitely a major challenge, especially for me. Helping others in improving their skills of English as a second language was somewhat ironic, considering the fact that I was in their place a couple of years ago. I was a bit scared at the beginning, uncertain of what to expect from others, or what they would expect of me. When I first came into the small classroom and saw 15 pairs of eyes welcoming me with a smile, my anxiety disappeared and my adventure could begin.
I already knew that there was a big Bosnian community in Utica as a consequence of the war that lasted from 1992-1995. Therefore, I was not very surprised when I heard two women whispering in the classroom in my mother language. They didn't quite understand the task given by their teacher, but both were too ashamed to ask. I approached them and explained to them what they were supposed to do. When they heard me speaking Bosnian, they were a bit shocked, but then the younger one smiled and said: "Where have you been this entire time?" It felt great, and it was only the beginning.
I worked with different people every week. Most of them were Bosnian, due to the simple fact that it's so much easier for others to understand English if they have a clear idea of the same meaning in their own language. I worked with teenagers as well as with older people, with beginners as well as with those whose English skills were very good. Most of my students were women, and each one of them had an interesting life story. Those stories made a great impression on me, and are strongly related to many topics that we talk about in my class. It was touching, interesting and extremely helpful to hear testimonies of direct victims of gender discrimination, and other kinds of oppression. I feel indebted to mention all of their names, but I also feel I must focus on the one person that impressed me in more ways than one.
It was my fifth week working on this project. We already had our little routine of coming to class, gathering our study material and then off shooting into a different classroom with our group. That particular day, the main teacher Carola approached me and asked if I would mind working with an older man that just started attending her classes. I accepted the idea enthusiastically.
The man came up to me, offered me his hand and said: "Hi, my name is M-u-j-o." There he was, a 65-year old man, smiling widely and spelling out his name to a girl young enough to be his granddaughter. I smiled back and said in Bosnian: "Hi Mujo, it's a pleasure to meet you." He was so surprised that he almost hugged me. I wasn't sure why, but I was on the edge of bursting into tears.
Mr. Mujo became my regular student. As I got to know him my respect and admiration grew for him. He migrated to the United States, fleeing from a brutal war that tore him away from half of his closest family and turned his entire life upside down. Today he lives in a small rented apartment with his wife and a young daughter who is mentally disabled. Despite his adverse living conditions and meager wages, he constantly says: "It could be worse. I am thankful for what I have – two women I love the most and who give me the strength to always be positive." He talked about his wife and daughter with an incredible enthusiasm that moved me. It gave me hope that maybe endless love isn't just a pure commercialism seen in movies; that maybe somewhere in this world there are more men that feel the same way for their "gentle halves". He reminded me so much of my grandfather that I became very attached to him. His attitude inspired me to go the extra mile and do everything that I could to help him. I would stay up late the night before the class and make flashcards or write stories in pictures. Seeing his excitement and appreciation made me feel good. Not even good, it felt great. One day he said that he wouldn't be coming to classes anymore because his work schedule had changed. I wished him all the best and couldn't help myself from hugging him. He smiled and said: "Thank you for your patience with me. You are a great kid. Say hi to Bosnia from me when you go home." Again, I needed a lot of self-restraint to keep myself from becoming too emotional.
My next student was Yuri, a young teenage girl from the Dominican Republic. I could speak Spanish, so when I said: Hola, I was greeted with a big sigh of relief and an even bigger smile. I felt like I was making a great progress with her as younger people do learn faster. We talked a lot about her life in her native country, and all the reasons that drove her to the big decision of coming to America in search of a better future. She told me that in her country, not many girls have the chance to go to college, not because they don't want to, but because they are not expected to. Some of the things she said made me realize how there are so many things we tend to take for granted, and how blessed I am to be where I am and have what I have. So, as I helped her learn how to express herself in English, I felt that I was learning too, and my lessons seemed even more important. Yuri moved from not knowing to count to being one of the best students in class. As sadistic as it may sound, my greatest reward lay in seeing her sad face when I had to move on to working with a different student. I knew I had to be doing something right.
After that, I worked with two middle aged women from Peru: Rosa and Persito, and again my knowledge of Spanish showed its advantages. It helped me understand them better and thus make better progress in improving their English. When I asked why they had chosen to come to the United States, they both answered: "Human rights", and then added: "Equality". As I got to know them better, I truly understood their answers. Persito lost her job when she became pregnant and today she is a single mother of a four year old girl. She left home in order to give her daughter the opportunity to live a better life and have a brighter future. Although starting a new life in a completely different country has presented her with an entirely new set of obstacles, Persito is determined to do whatever it takes to create a normal living environment in which her daughter will feel safe, loved and equal to all others.
I must admit that the feat of teaching English wasn't always as smooth as I make it sound in retrospect. Just imagine sitting in front of an older person and trying to explain the difference between "some" and "any" when you are limited to basic English and your own creativity and ability to improvise. There were times when I was too frustrated to repeat things over and over again or days when I was overwhelmed with my own problems and work to deal with someone else's. Fortunately, those moments were very rare and they never affected my teaching. What prevailed was my awareness that these individuals trying to figure out how to read the word "Shakespeare", actually need my help. And I knew exactly how it felt to be in their shoes.
With this year coming to its end, I realize how dramatic a period it was for me. I left my home, family, friends, and my entire life behind and came to United States to pursue a better education. Today I lead a drastically different life as a Hamilton College student. I go to bed every night saying: Good night instead of: Laku noc, I've started to think in English and I'm actually starting to have dreams in English! But that's not all that this year has brought to me. Through Project Shine, I've had the opportunity to experience the greatest feeling in the world: A feeling that comes from helping others and being appreciated for it.
People say that for a teacher, there is no greater award than gratitude, appreciation and seeing his/her students making progress. Now I can personally vouch for that. When Rosa raised her hand for the first time to finish the word-snake, I was the proudest person in the world, and I just couldn't help clapping when she was done. Silent smiles like hers as well as other signs of gratitude like thankful nods or sometimes even big hugs, filled my heart with pride and joy. They made me become and feel like a better person.
