Spectator Between the Sheets
by Johanna Pajak '09Features Columnist
For many, Hamilton College can be a tough place for sex. This is not just because we are confined to those twin-size beds but because inherent in the Hamilton environment is a pervasive lack of anonymity that many would like to have at this point in their sexual lives. As a pair, anonymity and sex haven't been treated well in the past, but I think for most Hamilton students anonymity in sex doesn't carry the same meaning that it does in the red-light districts of our contemporary imagination.
Many of us, and for good reason, wish to keep our sexual escapades from becoming the stuff of Sunday morning brunch chit-chat, the news that's passed along with the table salt. Others would, in fact, prefer a certain degree of anonymity with their sexual partners wishing to, as they say, "pass like two ships in the night." In both cases, particularly the latter, the wish to go incognito is, at least in part, rooted in the fact that sex can often be endlessly embarrassing.
The fact of the matter is that a lot of incredibly uncomfortable things can happen when you combine nudity, drinking, sweat, physical activity, and body cavities. This being the case, some would rather not make eye contact with one who bears witness to such inevitable sexual snafus (especially in class, on Martin's Way, at The Diner, etc.). An idealist would probably say that one should only partake in this most intimate of activities with a person he or she is completely comfortable sharing all aspects of their bodies with. This would include the good and the bad, the sexy pre-romp make-up and the brutal morning after face, the perfect kiss outside Bundy Dining Hall and the echoing queef inside Bundy West.
My point is, a new age is upon us (and has been since the 60s). In our contemporary post-puritanical times, sex can be any number of things. It can be (as Maude Lebowski so eloquently put it) a "zesty enterprise," it can be run-of-the-mill, and, yes, it can be sacred. But when it comes to having casual sex, in order to truly enjoy ourselves, we're going to have to get used to facing some awkward moments and I think we would all be better people if we got over our sexual selves and learned to laugh at those things that make us most human.
In moving forward with this mentality, I hope to take a multi-dimensional look, not just at sex per se, but at relationships, sexuality and social life in general. To make this column the full-bodied, flavorful, sex-talk stew that it should be, I'm going to need your quandaries, comments and concerns. Please send your thoughts to: specbetweenthesheets@gmail.com. Names will be kept confidential, advice will be practical, and humor will be plentiful.