Having related New York's optimum mode of transportation last week, the subway, I will take the opportunity this week to discuss the opposite end of the spectrum: driving in the city. This was something I hoped never to have to experience, but fate thrust into my hands the keys of a rented Plymouth Voyager used for delivering props. My mission was to return the van from the studio at 42nd and 7th Avenue Times Square to the rental place just a few blocks away at 40th and 10th Avenue.
In any other city in the world, this would be a simple, straightforward task. In the heart of Manhattan, however, for someone who has never driven in the city, this meant a certain grizzly and untimely demise. I quickly discovered that aside from actually parking on top of a pedestrian without either honking or shaking your fist first, everything was fair game in terms of legal driving procedures. This total lawlessness came in handy during navigation, for every street is designed to be one-way in the opposite direction of your destination from any point in the city. This backwards design eventually got the best of me, however, as a friendly traffic cop kindly directed me away from the lane that led to the rental place and into a lane which sharply curved and spiraled downwards into the 7th circle of Hell, also known as the Lincoln Tunnel during rush hour. Two hours, countless profanities, four near death experiences, and quite possibly the most illegal U-Turn in automotive history later, I sputtered the van into the rental place, a beaten and deeply shaken man. Needless to say, I took the subway back.
